microsoft

microsoft
1. (microsoft) (3132↑, 603↓)
Organisation bent on world domination masquerading as a software company. See also [Bill Gates]; [Windows]

Fucking shit Microsoft programs

2. (microsoft) (1425↑, 302↓)
See [World Domination]
3. (Microsoft) (1388↑, 383↓)
A large terrorist organisation, hell bent on producing software that crashes and works slowly. Some of their more evil tactics over the years include waiting until just before you click the save button to make the screen go all blue for no reason, but more subtle tactics include waiting until you start to work, then annoying you with a sodding paper clip.

Josh: "I'll just get on with some work..." Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello\!" Josh: *I'll just ignore him, and he'll go away*.... *starts to type* Microsoft Paperclip: "Do you want to write a letter?" Josh: "No." Microsoft Paperclip: "Okay, do you need some help with that?" Josh: "NO\! NO\! NO I DONT FUCKING WANT SOME HELP\! PISS OFF\!\!" *clicks on hide, paperclip dissapears*...*begins to work...* ... 2 minutes pass ... Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello\!"

4. (Microsoft) (879↑, 326↓)
An obvius copy of [Macrohard], which [Bill Gates] stole the disk of while I was sleeping. He also copied my program [Doors], and renamed it [Windows].

Me: *sleeping* Bill Gates: I'll just take this disk... *yoink* Me: You, come back here right now, or I will personally come all the way over there and call Ronald F***ing McDonald to kick you in the nuts\! Bill Gates: hehehe *escapes* I'll just change the name to Microsoft, and this program to Windows, and no one will ever know\!\!\!\! WAHAHAHA\!\!\!\! Me: Cheap B******\!

5. (microsoft) (548↑, 226↓)
A company most famous for its satirical "operating system," Windows. A sort of play-on-code from genuine operating systems, [Windows] amuses millions with its cartoonishly-dated gui (graphical user interface), [Gerald Ford]-esque clumsiness (whoops\! I froze again\! *laugh track*), hyper-zealous licensing scheme, and utter lack of usability. For these reasons and many others Windows popularity remains very high.

And why shouldn't spyware be able to install itself on my computer?\!

Author: Lenard DeWayne Jackson http://microsoft.urbanup.com/1401726
6. (microsoft) (444↑, 259↓)
The bane of civilization

Damn all other systems to hell for not being able to overtake Windows as the dominant OS on the market.

7. (Microsoft) (413↑, 232↓)
An inferior product that is out to rule the world.

Microsoft's plans for building a death star device was shut down by officepax.

8. (microsoft) (193↑, 113↓)
A description of Bill Gates' genitals.

Bill Gates: "Wanna see my microsoft?"

9. (microsoft) (181↑, 105↓)
A company that has created an operating system that'll eventually follow in the footsteps of VIKI on I, Robot. It'll first take your memory so you can't do anything without a 5 minute wait, then it'll procced to piss you off with error messages.

Person: Where has all my memory gone? Windows XXP: I have removed it for you own safty, please remain calm. Person: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Bill Gates cackles away evily in his office*

10. (microsoft) (163↑, 92↓)
M ost I ntelligent C ustomers R ealize O ur S oftware O nly F ools T eenagers

What's Microsoft? You know it man. Hehe

11. (microsoft) (119↑, 60↓)
Run by Bill Gates who wants to have complete dominion over the Earth

Microsoft Interviewer: Mr. Gates why are you trying to form a Monopoly? Gates: Monopoly's just a game, I'm trying to control the fucking world.

12. (microsoft) (212↑, 156↓)
Pure Crap. The only good thing they've ever made is probably the xbox360 which is full of bugs and crashes (it's an unfinished product) The day microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is the day they make vacume cleaners.

(bill gates)-join the corporate empire\! (geek)-yes\! join microsoft (dude)-no. (dude2)-lol pwnd

13. (microsoft) (199↑, 143↓)
Software company that produces the [Windows] series of operating systems. Founded by Bill Gates and Paul Allen, and generally considered responsible for modern computing. People like to knock their near-monopolistic control of the OS market but in truth, while at times unpleasant, its almost a necessity for widespread computing due to the way OS's work, and how software has to communicate with the OS. Those of you who dabbled with computing in the early '90s when many different computers/OS's on the market instead of just one know what I'm talking about; trying to find a particular piece of software compatible with your particular setup could be hell, and trying to code the stuff was even worse. Having a good compiler helped of course, but it had to be kept up to date on all the latest OS builds and/or you had to do all sorts of manual tweakage with the compiled code, neither of which was a particularly pleasant experience. Aside from Windows, MS has released a number of things like DirectX to make programmers' lives easier. All in all they help more than they hurt.

An operating system is like the lines on the road, if everyone's not using the same one bad shit starts happening.

14. (Microsoft) (156↑, 101↓)
Company bent on [world domination]. This however will never happen because people keep transferring over to [Linux].

Bob: Man I hate Microsoft Windows Xp\!\!\! :( Rob: That's why you should have switched to Linux you dolt\!

15. (Microsoft) (89↑, 60↓)
1. noun : A large company specialising in making [cock-up]s, and then blaming them on the user. 2. adj : Any entity, company or individual who makes a useful product which can only be used if you buy other, more expensive, products. 3 To Do A Microsoft - to sell a product, claiming that it is good value for money when, in actual fact by the time you buy the addons, it is more expensive than better versions that don't need the add-ons.

1 + 2: User: I have been infected with a virus and have lost over £1,000 worth of work from my computer. Microsoft: That's because you didn't buy a firewall, virus scanner, anti-spam and port blocker. User: But the Microsoft box said the your product was safe. Microsoft: Yes, but you didn't use it properly. When we ship the product it is set so that viruses can attack you - you should have spent a week securing it before using it. It wasn't our fault, it was your fault, so tough shit\! 3. [iTunes] music has protection which means that it can only be used on iTunes software and ipods, retricting you enjoyment of the music to their products - they have Done a Microsoft\!

16. (Microsoft) (77↑, 65↓)
1. official name of one of the world's most powerful and corrupt corporations, increasingly known as Microshaft, Microshit, Mickeysoft or simply M$\<br\> 2. corporation known for making unbelievably crappy software, then shoving it down consumers' throats, screwing competitors and taxpayers and exploiting public school students in the process\<br\> 3. corporation founded by Bill Gates and Paul Allen, two of the world's richest assholes and virtual monarchs of the corporate brothel called Seattle\<br\> 4. mega-corporation that can't handle real competition 5. powerful member of the Seattle Mafia

If it weren't for software bug fixes and virus advice, Microsoft's website traffic might slow to a crawl.

Author: David Blomstrom http://microsoft.urbanup.com/1754940
17. (microsoft) (53↑, 43↓)
The reason Apple is second in software sales.

Bill Gates: "Wow, a small software company." *whips out gatling gun* "Die, you sob's, I'm Bill Gates, Bitches, hahahahah\!" "Microsoft is King" *assasinates Steve Jobs*

18. (microsoft) (44↑, 35↓)
verb - 1. to exploit through false acclaimations and monopoly share. offering a mediocre product or service under the guise that it is exceptional. 2. to use and sell another person's ideas as one's own. to forcibly steal another person's intellectual property for personal gain.

1. "Wow, it looks like, with the help of Apple, and Bellsouth, AT&T just microsofted themselves back into big business." 2. "Josh, how could you just fucking microsoft my mid-term paper like that. I trusted you\!"

19. (microsoft) (38↑, 32↓)
slang for finley cut cocaine

yung juc- "got that microsoft so they call me Bill Gates"

20. (Microsoft) (55↑, 49↓)
A company that produces the [Operating System] Windows. Windows was the first commercially available [GUI] style OS for the mass consumer market. However, due to the fact that ALL Brand New Non-Mac PC's come with Windows pre-installed now, most consumers miss the fact that there are other OS out there. [Sirius] [Linux] etc. Microsoft has done a lot of good for the hacking community. Their system is easy to modify, and Internet Explorer is the best browser for sending [viruses], trojans, and [tracking cookies]. You can easily destroy another person's computer if they are running Windows just by creating dinky code in less than a minute. Microsoft also attempts to dominate other markets as well, such as [Xbox] for video games and [Zune] for MP3 players. Those are just more easily hacked items that fail at the larger community, but attract a strong cult following.

At least Microsoft gave mass consumers and [newbies] a simple, user-friendly operating system. But in the year 2006, more people are technical and know how to install another system.

21. (microsoft) (59↑, 53↓)
1. n : creators of a very strong type of [magnet] created to pull [viruses], [spyware], and other type of [malware] from real Operating Systems. Also responsible for the fake operating system that [script kiddies] use to claim they are [1337]. Although best known for [steve ballmer]

Look what microsoft put in thier update today...A brand new gaping wide hole\!\!\! HOORAY\!\!\!\!\!

Author: (any language\>java)==true http://microsoft.urbanup.com/1733708
22. (Microsoft) (13↑, 9↓)
A tiny flaccid penis.

"I saw Joe in the lockerroom today, he's got a microsoft lol".

Author: MNMNMNMNMNMNMNMN http://microsoft.urbanup.com/4533275
23. (Microsoft) (3↑, 3↓)
1) A company so bad, bloggers and college students write essays about how bad their products are. 2) A company whose software sucks so bad that websites are published to explain why.

P1: What evil empire did you do your report on? P2: Microsoft\!

24. (microsoft) (9↑, 10↓)
an evilcompany that became successful by thievery, bullshitting customers, keeping quality control OFF the table, and pulling unfair marketing schemes to leach money from people across the globe. continues to thrive off the rest of the population minus Mac users and uses its corporate power to control its market. Still has hardly made an effort to improve Windows since they know they have control over the market. They release new windows just to increase profit, and these "upgrades" are in effect just like looking through a different window at the same damn thing-a junk-piled OS. the xbox 360 is their only tangible product. this device is possibly the worst excuse for a video game system. the only reason people buy it is for the selection of video games and exclusive games like halo that microsoft bought out.

*new xbox 360 4gb commercial* Billy: "Wow that actually sounds like something i might buy from microsoft. they finally decided to really improve the 360. built in wifi, slimmer and runs quieter, sounds like a worthy game system." Jesus: Now billy, you may think that at the moment, but you must discern that this is Satan tempting you. If you buy the reasonably priced 4g version, you will be trapped into buying a $130 hardrive if you want to play co-op in Halo Reach. This is deceiful trickery, because they knew they could have made their 4gb system work with Halo Reach, but decided not to. This microsoft you speak of is only out for profit, so do not let them lay their selfish tricks on you."

Author: rageagainstmicrosoft http://microsoft.urbanup.com/5452853
25. (Microsoft) (9↑, 10↓)
A company that does everything they can to make sure your getting punked' and they're not. Many people are familiar with there surreptitious products and their unfaithful outlook towards their customers - Xbox Live -The Red Ring Of Death and its "E-" relatives - The Blue Screen of Death - Buggy software - The extra layer of plastic on Point Cards - Activation of the Point Cards only when you get to the check register

Microsoft Customer: \<That's ironic my Xbox died on my 16th birthday. I bought it 2 years ago for my 14th birthday\> \<Well, my warranty is gone but I guess I'll call customer support and see if they can do anything about it... or maybe\> *Goes to Google and types in: how to use your Xbox controller to play PC games* \<Yes YES YESS\!\! Finally, this is great...now I just have to... huh??..... "Step: 4 Ok, just purchase a Microsoft wireless receiver or the Microsoft Xbox 360 Wireless Controller for Windows \<WHAT\!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Curse you Microsoft\!\!\!\! \>

Author: Microsoft sufferer http://microsoft.urbanup.com/4815986
26. (microsoft) (126↑, 127↓)
A crappy computer company that is trying to move in on Nintendo and Sony with subpar ports and a few over hyped exclusives

dude, microsofts operating systems are almost as cumbersome as X-box controllers

Author: goth hater engaged to hot goth chick(not kidding) http://microsoft.urbanup.com/1089311
27. (Microsoft) (8↑, 10↓)
A company that doesn't care if their product is good or not. Ironically, the DOJ and 19 states sued Microsoft for illegally bundling [Internet Explorer] with [Windows 98] and the DOJ still used IE. That's how Microsoft is.

Microsoft "Wow\! This OS is amazing\!" Steve "Wow\! This OS is [crap]\!"

Author: IamNotSashaFierce http://microsoft.urbanup.com/4792267
28. (Microsoft) (5↑, 8↓)
A Term for Bill Gates penis

Nice Microsoft there Bill

29. (microsoft) (9↑, 17↓)
Expensive, disapointing, failing to perform correctly. High maintenance and unreliable.

Jonny Consumer:' Aw shit I spent all my money on this and its turned out to be a buch of Microsoft\!' Billy Consumer: 'Twat\!'

30. (microsoft) (21↑, 29↓)
Noun: describes the state of a severe reduction in size and state of readiness of the male member due to a severe reaction to an unpleasant looking female. Verb: to severely reduce in size and state of readiness the male member due to an adverse reaction to an unpleasant looking female.

I saw a girl last night that was so ugly she gave me an instant microsoft. Boy, after going home with her after the disco and a few bevvies I woke up sober, looked at her and instantly microsofted\!

Author: Gary from Italy http://microsoft.urbanup.com/2630372
31. (Microsoft) (35↑, 43↓)
1.The awesome company that everyone seems to think is evil. 2.A really small, floppy cock.

"Windows started sucking at Vista" "Man, that guy sure had a Microsoft\!"

32. (Microsoft) (38↑, 47↓)
A company that controls over 90% of the computer OS market share. Which is also highly criticized and made fun of. This is stupid because there the number 1 OS maker. And contrary to popular belief there products actually work. They are also worth more than any other computer OS manufacture in the world. So come on people lets face facts. There products must work because if they didn’t then no one would buy them.

Microsoft Windows NT, 95,98, 2000, XP, Vista. Xbox, Xbox 360, Zune

Author: Commander Grass http://microsoft.urbanup.com/2463317
33. (microsoft) (49↑, 58↓)
Company that everyone hates due to the aggorant asshole known as Steve Jobs.

[Mac Nazis]: WAH WAH FUCK MICROSOFT THEY SUCK WAH\! [Linux Nazis]: M$ is shit wah Normal person: ...Why do I have to listen to you assholes?

34. (microsoft) (37↑, 47↓)
a big cheesie company that copies everything and makes it slow lagging and crashing a lot

apple-hey guys I made this original operationg system microsoft-im just going to steel all your stuff and make it stupid apple-you dont have permission you son of a b**** oh well i made mine look good and flashy and at the same time awsome\! microsoft-people already use my f***ing crappy unoriginal ideas anyway (during this war apple takes back all of it's dignity back and saves the world by making Ipods, trading with google, and punching bill gates in big laughing groups\!)

35. (microsoft) (1↑, 14↓)
a old group whos only hope of staying in buisness is the xbox. this company is run by are gay i think jew friend, Bill Gates. this man thinks is what us ghetto people call "chalk" for he may have money but has no one that likes him. In our morden day Nazi, racis people, and our crapy economy he has been forgoten.

[xbox] [who] [microsoft]

Author: sexyshakertheodore http://microsoft.urbanup.com/5453921
36. (Microsoft) (14↑, 29↓)
A corporation bent on achieving world domination by brainwashing idiots into buying their abysmal computers.

Mac person: I have a life. Microsoft person: I do not, as I spend all my time smacking my [piece o' crap] computer and screaming at the [blue screen of death].

Author: The Culture Bandit http://microsoft.urbanup.com/3968583
37. (Microsoft) (8↑, 24↓)
A very rich and evil company planning to invade the world.

Microsoft is gonna invade the world\!

38. (Microsoft) (13↑, 29↓)
Noun - To Microsoft - a synonym for [rebooting]. The word came about as a result of the main way to fix a Microsoft Operating System, which was to simply turn off the operating system and start it anew. This was quite common when the famous [blue screen of death] (BSOD) showed up on a computer.

The computer locked up, so he microsofted it. Johnny microsofted the computer in order to get it operational again.

39. (Microsoft) (32↑, 49↓)
Microsoft = plug-n-pray click-n-crash ( waste my time )

Microsoft burns time.. Time is money. Time is life. You only have x amount of time or money\!\!\! let's say 20 million users spend 1/2 hour a day booting or pounding the keyboard NIH 10 million hours X 200 days or 2 billion man hours per year X 10 years = 20 billion hrs. Bill is a bad boy

Author: itichie_nocanpo http://microsoft.urbanup.com/2037802
40. (Microsoft) (17↑, 35↓)
the most god awful, pityful, annoying, irriating thing ever to exist. Hated by millions around the world this company strives to cause stress to everyone by CONSTANTLY creating errors and that cursed "blue screen of death". No matter what, they do everything in their power to screw people out of money so they can destroy their rivals, which someday will defeat them, god bless Mozilla - the Messiah of computers\!...and then theres that FUCKING PAPER CLIP\!

Microsoft has created a fatal error on your machine, it will now shut down...and error occured whilst windows tried to shut itself down...an error occured whilst trying to create the previous error...the blue screen of death will now appear...windows has created an error whilst trying to load the blue screen of death...NO ONE HEARS YOUR SCREAMS\!...buy a MAC you prick\! Then there is the HATED paper clip. this thing will make you want to pull your lungs out through ur arsehole... need i say more\!

Author: Alterz_the_almighty http://microsoft.urbanup.com/1267284
41. (microsoft) (40↑, 60↓)
A big, evil corporation hell bent on world domination, lead by Satan himself, Bill Gates - Multi Billionaire/prince of darkness. Headquaters in Seattle/Hell.

"Hey, what do you think of Microsoft?" "oh, you mean the company that promotes EVIL?"

42. (Microsoft) (54↑, 84↓)
An evil organization bent on controlling everyone in the world to make Bill Gates richer. They are responsible for shelling out the horrible video game console, the Xbox, ehich sucks worse than any NeoGeo console. Their e-mail services known as hotmail, and their communication services are the worst services in the world when compared to Yahoo or AOL.

Ugh, this Microsoft Messenger is frustrating the hell out of me.

Author: Logical Thinker http://microsoft.urbanup.com/1412800
43. (Microsoft) (41↑, 73↓)
A badly made OS that will destroy all of mankind and enslave all of the surviving humans. WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE\!\!\!\!\!\! it also doesn't work worth sh*t and crashes every 5 minutes. it also F*CKS UP ALL YOUR PERIPHERALS AND KEYBOARDS\!\!\!

see also Trsdahgfdajkhfg...SORRY, Microsoft f*cked my keyboard... see also [Trojan Virus]

44. (Microsoft) (47↑, 79↓)
Nuke Targert Of many places around the world\!

There are 2,036 Nuke targeted at microsoft\!

45. (Microsoft) (5↑, 38↓)
A comapny that should be called [macrohard]. They are run by shitbrains and the government is stupid becuase they won't [SMASH] the monopoly. See [Bill Gates]

The company is microsoft, but it's also macrohard. Macrohard is more reflective of the company. Microsoft is Macrohard, Firefox will FireGates\!

46. (microsoft) (4↑, 45↓)
a word used to describe your penis.

arto's dick is just microsoft\!\!\!

47. (microsoft) (33↑, 78↓)
satan, nuff said, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs too (apple isnt exempt)

who microsoft wants YOU to serve wow, microsoft is satan, im switching to linux

48. (microsoft) (140↑, 213↓)
The company whose products (including programming languages, operating systems, and productivity software titles) form the backbone of modern computing.

Microsoft is a fine example of 'horizontal growth'.

Author: Shanya Almafeta http://microsoft.urbanup.com/122477
49. (microsoft) (25↑, 139↓)
A group of neo-nazis worshipping al malfunctioning stereo. A.K.A. My heroes.

Microsoft cant be bad......look at the freaking money they've made\!

50. (microsoft) (154↑, 371↓)
An enlightened company that is try to standardize software program interfaces to reduce training time while also providing useful and powerful applications.

Windows NT should replace linux servers everywhere. Maybe than you wouldn't have to be a l33t h4x0r just to install a program.

Related: windows, bill gates, xbox, apple, vista, computer, sony, xbox 360, linux, mac, zune, nintendo, 360, ipod, crap, pc, halo, shit, software, ps3, os, xp, internet, internet explorer, operating system, windows xp, windows vista, micro$oft, gates, seattle mafia, google, macintosh, wii, bungie, playstation, bill, computers, halo 3, msn, steve jobs
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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